My Glorious Neighbor

Well, I've finally broken down and decided to write a blog about my neighbor. First let me say that she seems to be very nice and is pretty hot. However, she and her friends annoy the fuck out of me. Here's the gist of it:
1 -- It always smells like shit around her apartment. As her door is no more than six inches away from mine and is in an enclosed hallway, the entire area around our apartments smells like shit. I don't know how to explain it. I think of myself as a very cultured guy, I'm used to and/or not bothered by myriad odors, and I am rarely grossed out by the smell of any food...but her apartment seriously smells like ass. I equate it to the fishing shed of the guide my dad and I went to for years in Texas, i.e., fish guts and carcasses, dirt, oil and gasoline, various bait (live and otherwise), east Texas swamp, and a KFC grease trap and/or septic tank.
2 -- She plays horrible music. I only recognize about half of it, and it's mostly 90's R&B/psuedo-hip hop. The shit I don't recognize sounds like the other crap, but by even shittier artists. She also seems to host a good amount of parties (in her apartment about the size of the trunk of my car) while blasting this music. Fantabulous.
3 -- This one's just weird to me. She comes out of her apartment on a regular basis (for instance, she's doing it right now and has been for about an hour), stands or sits in the hallway, and talks on the phone. No, not a cell phone. Her cordless landline. Our apartments are located in the basement of a university building, so of course reception sucks for radio waves, but even if she was doing this to try and get better reception, it still doesn't make sense. Even in the hall, she's still in the basement and blanketed by concrete walls, some of which are now blocking the direct signal to her phone's base. W T F.

I should also state for the record that I'm pretty sure she's a foreign exchange student. She speaks a language (and has an accent in English) which I'm certain is not a romance or germanic tongue, she's black and very dark skinned, and all of her friends have the same accent/speak that same language. I'm guessing she's African. Now, as I stated above, I consider myself a cultured man, but perhaps these are cultural habits/products that I have been ignorant of until now. At the same time, true humor is cultural and relies on cultural idiosyncrasies. Either way, I'm always right so fuck you.

I also have a rather humorous story involving certain activities, a location on campus, and some townie kids, so if you're interested, ask me about it. Unfortunately, I won't be posting that story here.

*EDIT*: 3/20/05 2:20PM She's out in the hall on the phone again (this time on the stairs), and I stand corrected: she's gorgeous. d=(^o^)=b Heh, still, I've heard "Who Let the Dogs Out" by those incorrigible Baha Men or whatever the fuck their name is emanating from her room on numerous occasions... \(-_-)/

CATCH27 IS THE MOST RETARDED FUCKING THING EVER. Almost.

Ok, so I signed up for this Catch27 thing...it's gay ass online community designed to prey on stupid college students with its trendy theme and eXtreme (dare I say, Xtreme?!), i'm-cool-and-i-don't-care-INYOURFACE! attitude. I was temporarily stupid enough to join this thing and invite three of my friends to whom I feel compelled to apologize profusely. You get a blog on the thing, and here is my first and what I intend to be my last blog entry from Catch27:

Ok, so I log onto the good ol' Facebook a couple weeks ago, and low and behold, there's a message waiting for me with the subject "God you're cute" or something of that nature. Interesting. Intriguing, even. My curiosity sparked, I decided to read said message, as it was from a lady after all. Long and the short of it, this girl wants me to join this thing (Catch27). The message sounded like a telemarketer caliber script (read: load of bull shit), but whatever, either it's true or it's good BS, so I decided to go ahead and join. Wow, that was a mistake. Yeah, this thing sucks. Don't get me wrong, I'm probably in the upper echelon of Internet users, a product of this Information Age, but I'm also a lazy fuck. It took me long enough to fill out all that shit on Facebook, and I had to do it again for this crap. Marvelous. And what is my reward, what do I reap from this sowing, WHAT ARE THE FRUITS BORN OF MY LABOR?!!?!? Shit, that's what. This steaming pile of cyber-crap is the most retarded thing I've seen in a long time (to say nothing of the droves of people who actively take part in it -- that means you). It's obviously made to prey on innocent college morons who have too much time on their hands (or think they do). It plays off of three huge college trends of the past couple of years: cards, money, and online communities. The first two go together: ever since the World Series of Poker has been on cable, morons across college campuses nationwide have been playing cards, jerking off, and throwing away what little money most of them have (either in that order or all at once). There's also been a craze as of late for online communities like Friendster, MyPage, and the almighty Facebook. Some brilliant business guy somewhere at some point said, "Hey, we could make a site that incorporates all that crap and market it to college kids!" Et voila, here's Catch27, it masquerades as the chic new way to make online friends with a card theme and a device by which you can give them money! What, a way to be cool, play cards, and waste money?! Alright! Fuck, man. Speaking of wasting things, I just wasted 5 minutes writing this crap. Yoroshiku.